Rediscovering the Love at Its Core

If Christianity Starts with Love, Why Does It Feel Like It’s All About Rules?

You’ve probably heard it—or maybe thought it yourself: “If God is love, then why does being Christian feel like following a bunch of rules?”

It’s a fair question. The Gospel begins with love—God’s love for us, poured out through Christ. But somehow, what many people experience instead is a system of dos and don’ts, loaded with guilt and fear.

Why the disconnect?

Let’s explore a few reasons why Christianity often feels rule-heavy—and how we can recover its heart.

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1. Rules Are Love’s Scaffolding

Just like parents set up boundaries for their toddlers—don’t touch the stove, don’t run into traffic—God, through the Church, gives us moral guidelines not to restrict us, but to protect us.

Rules aren’t the enemy of love. They’re how love gets a foothold in real life.

When rightly understood, commandments and Church teachings are like guardrails on a winding road. They exist to help us flourish—not to limit joy, but to preserve it.

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2. We Learn the Law Before We Know the Love

Most people start their spiritual life with a focus on behavior. It’s natural to want a checklist—especially when you’re unsure what’s right or wrong. “Just tell me what to do so I don’t mess up.”

But the Christian life isn’t just about doing—it’s about being in relationship.

Over time, what once felt like a burden can become a bridge. When the heart begins to grasp God’s love, obedience shifts from fear to freedom.

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3. Fear and Guilt Can Eclipse the Gospel

Let’s be honest—fear is powerful. Fear of messing up. Fear of hell. Fear of not being good enough.

Rules can offer the illusion of control: “If I do X, I’m safe.”

But when guilt dominates a person’s experience of religion, the beauty of grace gets buried. Christianity becomes a tightrope walk instead of a relationship of trust.

Love doesn’t ignore sin—it heals it. But when communities focus only on what not to do, they risk losing sight of what we’re invited into: life in abundance.

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4. History Hardened Some Lines

Throughout history, the Church has had to respond to real threats—heresies, persecution, cultural confusion. In times of crisis, the tendency is to emphasize clarity and boundaries.

But those necessary guardrails can become rigid over time, even after the original threat is gone. What started as protection can slowly replace affection.

This isn’t new. Even in the early Church, the apostles had to strike a balance between truth and freedom (see Acts 15). It’s an age-old tension—and one we still navigate today.

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5. Recovering the Primacy of Love

Rules without love become dry. But love without truth becomes hollow.

The good news? Christianity was never meant to be about jumping through hoops. At its core is this breathtaking claim: “We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19).

Every commandment makes sense only when framed as an invitation—not a burden to carry, but a path to joy. When we obey God not to earn His love, but because we’ve already received it, everything changes.

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A Quick Historical Glimpse

• Old Testament – The law was part of the covenant: “You are My people; this is how we live in union.”
  
• Jesus’ Teaching – He summarized all commandments into two: love God and love your neighbor (Matthew 22:37–40).
  
• Early Church – Faced with cultural diversity and false teaching, rules were used to preserve unity—but sometimes drifted into legalism.
  
• Reformers & Vatican II – The Reformers emphasized grace over works; Vatican II’s Lumen Gentium echoed Paul: “The greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:13).
  

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Final Thought & Discussion Prompt

“Can you think of a commandment that once felt burdensome—but when seen as an invitation into God’s love, became a source of freedom and joy?”

Let’s talk about it. Share your experience in the comments.