Seized by Christ

They are experiencing Christianity as joy and hope, having thus become lovers of Christ.

Tag: personal-growth

  • Discovering Your Heroic Vocation

    Recognizing the call that sets your life on a meaningful adventure

    Introduction: The Call to Adventure

    Every life has a calling. Not every vocation leads to priesthood or consecrated life. C.S. Lewis reminds us that there are infinitely many good vocations, each as different from one another as good is from evil. Some callings are familiar: raising a family, serving the poor, leading a community, or creating art that inspires. Others are unique, waiting quietly for a person to step forward.

    In the language of the Hero’s Journey, the first step of any adventure is the call. It may come as restlessness, a sense of purpose, or an invitation to serve. Recognizing this call is the beginning of a life fully aligned with God and with your gifts.

    The Heroic Vocational Questions

    To help discern your calling, consider these reflective questions. They are not a checklist, but a framework for discovery:

    1. Where do I feel most alive when serving or creating?
    2. What challenges stir courage in me rather than fear?
    3. Which relationships or mentors draw out the best in me?
    4. What activity makes me lose track of time while benefiting others?
    5. What do I keep returning to, even when it’s difficult or uncomfortable?
    6. How would I want my life to be remembered if I gave it fully to this path?
    7. What sacrifice would I be willing to make for the good that matters most to me?
    8. How does this calling connect with the greater good, the community, or God’s plan?

    These questions guide a person toward self-knowledge, courage, and clarity—the essential tools for responding to any vocation.

    Reflection and Discernment

    Answering these questions requires honest reflection, prayer, and openness to God’s guidance. It may take weeks or months to see patterns or clarity emerge. Journaling, talking with a trusted mentor, or spending time in prayerful solitude can help you hear the call more clearly.

    Remember: vocation is a process, not a single answer. Your understanding of your calling may grow or shift over time. The key is to remain attentive to the stirrings in your heart and to align your life with God’s will.

    Practical Next Steps

    Once you have a sense of your calling, take practical steps to test and nurture it:

    • Volunteer or intern in areas related to your perceived vocation.
    • Seek out mentors or communities that live out what you feel drawn to.
    • Learn actively: read, train, or practice skills that support your calling.
    • Experiment with small projects or commitments to see how they resonate.

    These steps allow your calling to reveal itself in action, confirming whether it truly aligns with your gifts and God’s plan.

    Conclusion

    Every vocation is heroic in its own way. Whether it is priesthood, marriage, art, leadership, or service, answering your call is stepping into a life of purpose, courage, and joy.

    Start by paying attention to the stirrings in your heart. Ask the reflective questions, test your path, and trust God’s guidance. Your heroic journey begins with the first step: saying yes to the call.

    Developed with assistance from ChatGPT-5

  • The Best Version of Yourself—or Something Greater?

    I first heard the phrase “the best version of yourself” on a business trip to Singapore. Later I heard Matthew Kelly use it, and I wondered—who said it first? Did he pick it up somewhere, or did others pick it up from him?

    Either way, whenever I hear it, I start asking questions. How many versions of myself are there supposed to be? It almost sounds like we’re meant to carry around a closet of personalities. “Today I’ll be Mr. Jekyll. Tomorrow I’ll be the thief. On Sunday I’ll put on my Christian self.” If that’s the case, then which one is the authentic self? And if I have to choose my “best” version, what does that say about all the rest?

    Maybe I’m on version 2.8 of my “best self” today—but what about 2.9, or 3.0? What if the best I can muster still isn’t very good? Do I just keep patching and upgrading like faulty software? Or will people ask, “Is that really your best version, or are you holding something back?”

    The more I hear this phrase, the more I think it misses the point. It makes “the best version of yourself” sound like something you accomplish on your own. But the truth is different: the best version of me is nothing compared to letting Christ live through me.

    And strangely enough, the more I put others first, the more “myself” I become. When I serve, I am surrounded by love and goodwill that multiplies my life far beyond what I could build alone. My “best version” is not about polishing up a private identity—it’s about creating the best version of my service, the best version of my vocation.

    So maybe the question isn’t, What’s the best version of yourself? but Who lives in you? Who do you belong to? Because if it’s just me, the best I can do is never enough. But if it’s Christ—then there is no limit.

    Epilogue: Where Did the Phrase Come From?

    The phrase “the best version of yourself” has become popular in motivational and self-help circles, but it has been especially tied to the work of Matthew Kelly, the Catholic author and speaker. Kelly made it a central theme in his books and talks, and for many people, the phrase is now inseparable from his message of spiritual renewal.

    That said, the idea itself isn’t unique to him. The broader self-improvement world has long promoted similar concepts about unlocking your potential, achieving your highest goals, or striving to become your “best self.”

    But here is the caution: when this phrase is left vague or purely self-focused, it can become just another slogan. It risks making people restless, always chasing after some imagined “best” that never arrives.

    Which brings us back to the Christian answer. The “best version” of you is not something you design or manufacture—it is what happens when Christ lives in you. Left to ourselves, we are always chasing. With Him, we are finally becoming.

    Developed with assistance from ChatGPT-5

  • The Myth of Safe Suffering

    Why true growth requires discomfort — and what we lose when we try to protect everyone from pain

    We live in a world that tries to protect us from almost everything:
    Pain, failure, discomfort, disappointment.

    Modern life is full of safety nets, trigger warnings, and gentle landings.
    But here’s the hard truth:

    Growth doesn’t happen in comfort.
    It happens in discomfort.

    And when we try to make all suffering safe, controlled, and optional…
     

    We lose something vital.

    What Is “Safe Suffering”?

    It’s the idea that we can go through hard things — without ever being truly uncomfortable.

    We talk about:

    • “Failing safely”
    • “Taking calculated risks”
    • “Controlled challenges”

    And sometimes, yes — those things are smart and necessary.

    But not all growth can be managed in a spreadsheet.

    The Truth: Growth Hurts Sometimes

    Think about these moments:

    • Learning you didn’t get the job
    • Facing a breakup
    • Hearing hard feedback
    • Hitting a wall in your career or life

    Those moments are painful. They’re also the exact moments where something deeper can happen.

    In the pain, you ask better questions.
    In the discomfort, you shift direction.
    In the struggle, you find strength.

    This is true in almost every story of personal transformation — including your own.

    Why Modern Life Tries to Erase Suffering

    There’s good intention behind it:

    • We want to protect mental health.
    • We want to be inclusive.
    • We want people to feel safe.

    But the shadow side of this comfort-first mindset is this:

    We start to believe that pain itself is a problem, that all suffering should be avoided, not endured.

    And that mindset can quietly weaken resilience — especially in younger generations.

    What We Lose When We Avoid Discomfort

    When we make everything “safe,” we often remove the very things that shape character:

    • Risk teaches courage
    • Failure teaches humility
    • Loss teaches gratitude
    • Pain teaches focus
    • Discomfort teaches adaptation

    Without these lessons, people drift.
    They stay stuck.
    They lose their spark.

    And worst of all, they never know what they’re made of.

    Real Love Doesn’t Always Protect — It Prepares

    If we really care about people, we can’t just shield them from pain.

    We have to:

    • Help them face it
    • Walk with them through it
    • Teach them how to grow from it

    The goal is not to remove all struggle. The goal is to build the kind of person who can handle it.

    Discomfort Isn’t Dangerous — It’s Sacred

    We need to stop treating discomfort like a disease.

    Sometimes it’s a signal.
    Sometimes it’s a gift.
    Sometimes, it’s the beginning of real change.

    Let’s not rob people of their story by trying to keep everything soft and safe.

    Because often, the most important chapter starts with this sentence:

    “That was the moment everything got hard —
    and everything started to change.”

    Created with assistance from ChatGPT

  •  Is Procrastination Laziness or a Trauma Response?

    Understanding the Path to the Adversary

    You’ve probably heard it said—or told yourself—that procrastination is a sign of laziness. But what if it’s not? What if it’s something much deeper, more human, and more dangerous?

    A viral quote puts it like this:

    “Procrastination is not laziness. It is a trauma response.”

    At first glance, that may sound dramatic. But modern psychology—and ancient wisdom—both affirm the same truth: avoidance often hides fear, and fear often hides trauma.

    Trauma and the Freeze Response

    Trauma doesn’t always look like panic or breakdown. Sometimes it looks like numbness. Stillness. Delay.

    When our nervous system perceives danger, we might fight or flee—but we also might freeze. That’s where procrastination often lives. Not in comfort, but in a kind of paralysis. We avoid the task, not because we’re unmotivated, but because the task feels threatening. Failing might prove we’re unworthy. Succeeding might expose us to expectations we’re afraid to carry.

    So we wait. And wait. And beat ourselves up for waiting.

    Peterson: The Seed of the Adversary is Laziness

    Jordan Peterson often frames this “laziness” in moral and spiritual terms. In Maps of Meaning, he explores how small acts of avoidance can evolve into resentment, and then into outright destruction.

    The person who refuses responsibility becomes bitter. The bitter become vengeful. And eventually, the vengeful become adversaries—not just of others, but of Being itself.

    So what begins as “laziness” is often a refusal to confront suffering. But beneath that refusal is usually pain—unprocessed, unresolved, and growing in the dark.

    The Progression: From Trauma to the Adversary

    Here’s how it unfolds:

    1. Trauma — A betrayal, a failure, or a moment of chaos shakes our sense of order.
    2. Fear — We begin to dread further pain, judgment, or exposure.
    3. Avoidance — Procrastination kicks in, disguised as laziness.
    4. Stagnation — Inaction compounds. Life doesn’t move. Self-contempt grows.
    5. Resentment — We start blaming ourselves, then others, then the world.
    6. Formation of the Adversary — We harden into a posture of defiance or decay, no longer seeking healing—only power, revenge, or numbness.

    This is how the adversary is born: not in grand acts of evil, but in a thousand quiet refusals to face suffering with courage.

    The Hero Responds Differently

    The difference between the hero and the adversary is not that one suffers and the other doesn’t. They both suffer. The difference is what they choose to do with it.

    • The adversary avoids, freezes, and resents.
    • The hero confronts, moves forward, and transforms.

    To break the cycle of procrastination, we must stop condemning ourselves as lazy and start asking deeper questions. Where does this fear come from? What pain am I avoiding? What burden am I afraid to lift?

    Redeeming the Pattern

    If procrastination is a trauma response, then the solution isn’t punishment—it’s healing.

    That healing begins with:

    • Understanding that your inaction may be protective, not passive.
    • Compassion toward yourself as someone doing their best with past pain.
    • Courage to take one small step into the unknown—despite fear.

    You are not lazy. You are a soul that’s been wounded. But you don’t have to become the adversary. You can become the hero instead.

    Developed with assistance from ChatGPT