Seized by Christ

They are experiencing Christianity as joy and hope, having thus become lovers of Christ.

Tag: depression

  • Microsphere Relationships:

    Where Real Belonging Begins

    A number of years ago, I came across an article called the “monkey sphere,” which was built on Robin Dunbar’s research into human social networks. Dunbar suggested that the size of our neocortex places a natural limit on how many people we can truly know and relate to. For humans, he estimated the number is around 150 people — what’s often called Dunbar’s Number.

    But there’s a catch: to sustain that many relationships, you’d need to dedicate around 40% of your weekly time (about 67 hours) to them. That works out to roughly 30 minutes per person, per week.

    This struck me:

    • The people in our microsphere — the ones we average 30 minutes a week with — are those we trust, learn from, and share life with. These are mentoring, collegial, or teamwork relationships where we actually need to learn how to get along.
    • The macrosphere is made up of the many others we know, but more distantly — acquaintances, useful contacts, neighbors.
    • At the center are our nucleus relationships — the people who need at least 30 minutes of our time daily. These include family, closest friends, and of course, God.
    • Being famous is when more people know you than you know them.
    • Being a fan is knowing someone who doesn’t know or care about you. 
    • Being a teacher / instructor / influencer implies the information is flowing out with little or no feedback. 

    It makes me wonder:

    • How many microsphere relationships do we actually sustain today — with family, extended family, coworkers, fellow parishioners, or in hobbies?
    • How many are necessary to feel truly at home in a parish — 5, 10, 20?

    We live in a world where loneliness is widespread, and many people are drowning in macrosphere connections (social media followers, casual contacts) but starving for microsphere ones. We let busyness and distraction push aside the very relationships that would make us feel grounded, known, and supported.

    👉 Reflection Question for Readers:
    What is one microsphere relationship in your life right now that needs more of your attention?

    Edited with assistance from ChatGPT-5

  • Trauma, Depression, and the Adversary

    Three Ways We Respond to Pain
    Life is hard. Sometimes, we go through deep pain—abuse, loss, betrayal, or the quiet ache of being unloved. That pain leaves a mark. We call it trauma. But trauma is not just what happens to us. It’s how we carry what happens inside. And how we carry it shapes how we live.

    Most people respond to trauma in one of three ways: through depression, through the adversary, or through healing. Let’s look at each one in simple terms.

    Trauma: The Wound

    Trauma is a wound to the soul. It can come from big things (like violence or betrayal) or small things that happen over and over (like neglect or shame). Trauma makes us feel powerless, afraid, or alone. It’s the breaking point inside where life feels too much.

    But what we do after the trauma—that’s where the real story begins.

    Depression: The Collapse

    Some people respond to trauma by shutting down. This is called depression.

    Depression says: “Life hurt me, and I don’t want to try anymore.”

    It feels like sadness, emptiness, or numbness. A person may feel tired, hopeless, or like they don’t matter. It’s a slow fade into silence. In a way, depression is the soul going into hiding. It pulls away from life to protect itself.

    This is not weakness. It’s a sign that something deep inside needs healing.

    The Adversary: The Mask

    Other people respond to trauma by building walls and fighting back. This is what we call the adversary.

    The adversary says: “Life hurt me, so I will take control.”

    This might look like:

    • Being harsh, cold, or bossy (control)
    • Always chasing pleasure or comfort (escape)
    • Mocking others or tearing things down (bitterness)
    • Always trying to win or look strong (fear)

    The adversary is a mask we wear to protect the wound. But over time, the mask becomes who we are. We stop growing. We stop loving. We stop being real.

    The Hero: The Path to Healing

    There is another way. The way of the hero.

    The hero also feels pain. But instead of collapsing or putting on a mask, the hero faces it. The hero says:

    “I was hurt. But I will not let that wound define me.”

    Healing begins when we:

    • Admit the pain is real
    • Refuse to give up or hide
    • Stay open to love and truth
    • Ask for help, even when it’s hard

    The hero does not pretend to be strong. The hero becomes strong by walking through pain with courage and grace.

    Final Thoughts

    Trauma is real. But so are the paths we take after it.

    • Depression is the soul’s cry for rest.
    • The adversary is the soul’s shield against pain.
    • The hero is the soul’s journey back to life.

    Wherever you are in your story, don’t give up. Healing is possible. Even from deep wounds. Even after long silence. Even when you feel lost.

    You are not alone. And you don’t have to stay stuck. You were made for more.

    With content and editing from ChatGPT