Seized by Christ

They are experiencing Christianity as joy and hope, having thus become lovers of Christ.

Category: Suffering, Silence, and Spiritual Growth

How God transforms pain and silence into grace—and invites us to grow through surrender.

  • 🔥 Can a Few Good People Save a City?

    Reflections on Sodom and Gomorrah

    Reading: Genesis 18:20–32

    This Sunday’s (July 27 2025) first reading tells the story of Abraham praying for mercy on behalf of the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. God tells Abraham that the cities have become so full of sin that judgment is coming. But Abraham dares to ask:

    “Will You really sweep away the righteous with the wicked? What if there are 50 innocent people? Or 40? Or 30? Or 10?”

    And God says, again and again:

    “If I find just 10 innocent people, I will not destroy the city.”

    That line stopped me.

    God was willing to spare the entire city if just ten innocent people were found. That shows us something really powerful:

    🙏 The Good Can Hold Back Judgment

    This story tells us that a few good people—those who try to live justly and walk with God—can make a difference for everyone. Abraham’s prayer shows us that our choices matter not only for ourselves, but for our whole community.

    Even in a sinful society, God looks for the faithful, and He listens to their prayers. Sometimes, just a small number of people following God can hold back a much bigger collapse.

    💔 But There Weren’t Ten

    Despite Abraham’s prayer, the cities were destroyed. (Genesis 19:1–25) Why? Because not even ten righteous people could be found. Instead, God rescued Lot and his family, the only ones who hadn’t given in to the evil around them.

    God didn’t ignore Abraham. He did what He said He would do. He showed mercy—but He removed the innocent first, and then let judgment fall.

    🏃‍♂️ A Warning for the Righteous Too

    This part of the story carries a warning:

    Sometimes, even the good must leave, because their presence is no longer enough to save a place that is collapsing. Or, if they stay too long, they might be hurt, or slowly drawn into the same sins.

    Being faithful is no guarantee that life will be easy. But it does mean that God sees you, cares for you, and will act on your behalf—just like He did with Lot.

    🔁 The Tytler Cycle and Our Culture

    There’s an old idea called the Tytler Cycle, which says that societies go through repeating stages:

    Faith → Courage → Liberty → Abundance → Complacency → Apathy → Dependence → Bondage

    This lines up with the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. When people forget God and live only for themselves, things start to fall apart. But if even a small group of people keep the faith, there’s still hope.

    🧭 What Does This Mean for Us?

    This story isn’t just about ancient cities—it’s about us. Here are some questions we might ask ourselves:

    • Am I one of the “ten”? Do I live in a way that brings mercy to my community?
    • Do I pray for my city? Like Abraham, am I asking God to spare and help the people around me?

    Am I awake to what’s going on? Am I willing to act, speak up, or leave a bad situation if God calls me to?

    💡 Final Thought

    God is more merciful than we can imagine. He listens to prayers. He searches for the faithful. He saves. But He also warns.

    This story reminds us that even one person trying to live rightly matters. And when there are ten, or twenty, or more—whole families, parishes, or communities—choosing to follow Christ in the middle of a confused world, they can be the very reason God still holds back destruction.

    So… maybe the question isn’t what’s wrong with the world, but:

    “Am I doing my part to be one of the ten?”

    🙏 Thanks for reading!
     If this reflection made you think, please leave a comment below — even just a word or two!
    👍 If you found it meaningful, click “like” and share it with a friend who needs encouragement.
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    Let’s keep the conversation going and help each other be faithful.

    Written with assistance from ChatGPT

  • The Myth of Safe Suffering

    Why true growth requires discomfort — and what we lose when we try to protect everyone from pain

    We live in a world that tries to protect us from almost everything:
    Pain, failure, discomfort, disappointment.

    Modern life is full of safety nets, trigger warnings, and gentle landings.
    But here’s the hard truth:

    Growth doesn’t happen in comfort.
    It happens in discomfort.

    And when we try to make all suffering safe, controlled, and optional…
     

    We lose something vital.

    What Is “Safe Suffering”?

    It’s the idea that we can go through hard things — without ever being truly uncomfortable.

    We talk about:

    • “Failing safely”
    • “Taking calculated risks”
    • “Controlled challenges”

    And sometimes, yes — those things are smart and necessary.

    But not all growth can be managed in a spreadsheet.

    The Truth: Growth Hurts Sometimes

    Think about these moments:

    • Learning you didn’t get the job
    • Facing a breakup
    • Hearing hard feedback
    • Hitting a wall in your career or life

    Those moments are painful. They’re also the exact moments where something deeper can happen.

    In the pain, you ask better questions.
    In the discomfort, you shift direction.
    In the struggle, you find strength.

    This is true in almost every story of personal transformation — including your own.

    Why Modern Life Tries to Erase Suffering

    There’s good intention behind it:

    • We want to protect mental health.
    • We want to be inclusive.
    • We want people to feel safe.

    But the shadow side of this comfort-first mindset is this:

    We start to believe that pain itself is a problem, that all suffering should be avoided, not endured.

    And that mindset can quietly weaken resilience — especially in younger generations.

    What We Lose When We Avoid Discomfort

    When we make everything “safe,” we often remove the very things that shape character:

    • Risk teaches courage
    • Failure teaches humility
    • Loss teaches gratitude
    • Pain teaches focus
    • Discomfort teaches adaptation

    Without these lessons, people drift.
    They stay stuck.
    They lose their spark.

    And worst of all, they never know what they’re made of.

    Real Love Doesn’t Always Protect — It Prepares

    If we really care about people, we can’t just shield them from pain.

    We have to:

    • Help them face it
    • Walk with them through it
    • Teach them how to grow from it

    The goal is not to remove all struggle. The goal is to build the kind of person who can handle it.

    Discomfort Isn’t Dangerous — It’s Sacred

    We need to stop treating discomfort like a disease.

    Sometimes it’s a signal.
    Sometimes it’s a gift.
    Sometimes, it’s the beginning of real change.

    Let’s not rob people of their story by trying to keep everything soft and safe.

    Because often, the most important chapter starts with this sentence:

    “That was the moment everything got hard —
    and everything started to change.”

    Created with assistance from ChatGPT

  • What Is Trauma, Really?

    A Simple Definition That Resonates

    Q: Would you say that a good definition of trauma is chaos or betrayal that a person is unable to process?

    A: Yes — that’s actually a powerful and useful way to understand it.

    Trauma isn’t just the bad thing that happened. It’s the inner rupture that occurs when something chaotic or deeply betraying happens — and we can’t make sense of it. Let’s break it down.

    1. Chaos or Betrayal: The Two Faces of Trauma

    Most trauma can be traced to one of these two sources:

    • Chaos describes experiences that are overwhelming and disorienting — things like natural disasters, car accidents, violence, or prolonged instability. These are situations where your body and mind feel helpless or unsafe.
    • Betrayal goes deeper — it wounds trust. Betrayal trauma often involves someone who should have protected you: a parent, partner, friend, or institution. The shock comes not only from what happened, but from who did it.

    2. When You Can’t Process It

    Here’s the key: Trauma stays with you not just because of what happened, but because you couldn’t make sense of it at the time.

    • Maybe you were too young, too afraid, or too unsupported to feel it fully or talk it through.
    • Maybe your worldview didn’t have room for what happened, and so your mind just… stored it.
    • Instead of being digested and healed, it stays locked in your body, your nervous system, or your subconscious — showing up as triggers, anxiety, numbness, avoidance, or even self-sabotage.

    A Working Definition of Trauma

    If you want a clear, memorable definition, try this:

    Trauma is any experience of chaos or betrayal that overwhelms a person’s capacity to process it, leading to lasting disruptions in their sense of safety, identity, or connection.

    That definition leaves room for both big events and hidden wounds — the obvious and the unspoken.

    In short: Trauma isn’t just about pain. It’s about meaning — or more precisely, the lack of it. Healing begins when we start to name, feel, and process what once felt impossible to carry.

  •  Is Procrastination Laziness or a Trauma Response?

    Understanding the Path to the Adversary

    You’ve probably heard it said—or told yourself—that procrastination is a sign of laziness. But what if it’s not? What if it’s something much deeper, more human, and more dangerous?

    A viral quote puts it like this:

    “Procrastination is not laziness. It is a trauma response.”

    At first glance, that may sound dramatic. But modern psychology—and ancient wisdom—both affirm the same truth: avoidance often hides fear, and fear often hides trauma.

    Trauma and the Freeze Response

    Trauma doesn’t always look like panic or breakdown. Sometimes it looks like numbness. Stillness. Delay.

    When our nervous system perceives danger, we might fight or flee—but we also might freeze. That’s where procrastination often lives. Not in comfort, but in a kind of paralysis. We avoid the task, not because we’re unmotivated, but because the task feels threatening. Failing might prove we’re unworthy. Succeeding might expose us to expectations we’re afraid to carry.

    So we wait. And wait. And beat ourselves up for waiting.

    Peterson: The Seed of the Adversary is Laziness

    Jordan Peterson often frames this “laziness” in moral and spiritual terms. In Maps of Meaning, he explores how small acts of avoidance can evolve into resentment, and then into outright destruction.

    The person who refuses responsibility becomes bitter. The bitter become vengeful. And eventually, the vengeful become adversaries—not just of others, but of Being itself.

    So what begins as “laziness” is often a refusal to confront suffering. But beneath that refusal is usually pain—unprocessed, unresolved, and growing in the dark.

    The Progression: From Trauma to the Adversary

    Here’s how it unfolds:

    1. Trauma — A betrayal, a failure, or a moment of chaos shakes our sense of order.
    2. Fear — We begin to dread further pain, judgment, or exposure.
    3. Avoidance — Procrastination kicks in, disguised as laziness.
    4. Stagnation — Inaction compounds. Life doesn’t move. Self-contempt grows.
    5. Resentment — We start blaming ourselves, then others, then the world.
    6. Formation of the Adversary — We harden into a posture of defiance or decay, no longer seeking healing—only power, revenge, or numbness.

    This is how the adversary is born: not in grand acts of evil, but in a thousand quiet refusals to face suffering with courage.

    The Hero Responds Differently

    The difference between the hero and the adversary is not that one suffers and the other doesn’t. They both suffer. The difference is what they choose to do with it.

    • The adversary avoids, freezes, and resents.
    • The hero confronts, moves forward, and transforms.

    To break the cycle of procrastination, we must stop condemning ourselves as lazy and start asking deeper questions. Where does this fear come from? What pain am I avoiding? What burden am I afraid to lift?

    Redeeming the Pattern

    If procrastination is a trauma response, then the solution isn’t punishment—it’s healing.

    That healing begins with:

    • Understanding that your inaction may be protective, not passive.
    • Compassion toward yourself as someone doing their best with past pain.
    • Courage to take one small step into the unknown—despite fear.

    You are not lazy. You are a soul that’s been wounded. But you don’t have to become the adversary. You can become the hero instead.

    Developed with assistance from ChatGPT

  • Pope Paul VI Laments Lack of Heroism in our Culture and Our Church

    “We cannot detach ourselves from the dominant thought in the Church during this period of preparation for Easter. It is the thought of penitence, which contrasts with our habits and mentality. We direct all our intentions and efforts toward removing from our lives anything that causes us suffering, pain, discomfort, or inconvenience; we are oriented toward a continuous search for comfort, enjoyment, and amusement; we want to be surrounded by well-being, ease, good health, and luck; everything we do is to reduce effort and fatigue; in the end, we are people who want to enjoy life: a good meal, a good bed, a pleasant walk, an enjoyable show, a good salary… this is the ideal. Hedonism is the common philosophy, the dream of existence for many of our contemporaries. We want everything to be easy, soft, hygienic, rational, perfect around us. Why penitence? Is there really a need to sadden the soul with such a thought? Where does such an unpleasant call come from? Is it not an offense to our modern conception of man?

    This apologetic monologue on “comfort,” as an expression of the ideal way to spend the years of our life, could go on at length, documenting excellent reasoning and even better experiences; but at a certain point, it must stop in the face of no less valid objections: do we want to make our life soft, mediocre? Idle and weak, without the patience and effort of great virtues? Where is the striving, where is the heroism that gives man his true and best stature? Where is the mastery over our laziness and inherent cowardice? And then: how can we arm our spirit in the face of suffering and misfortunes, which life does not spare us? And how can we give love its true and highest measure, which is the gift of self sacrifice? And is not sacrifice, this attitude, by its nature, classified in the great book of penitence?”

    A note should be made about the mention about the true and highest measure of love being self-sacrifice: In reality, the highest measure of love should be selfless sacrifice. That would be totally not taking self into account when loving. In fact, maybe the word sacrifice is already too self-facing.

    GA PPVI 1MAR1972W Penitence: Obligatory and Possible for All

  • Meditating on the Four Last Things

    How It Changed the Way I Treat People

    Q: What are the Four Last Things in Catholic spirituality?

    A:
    The Four Last Things are death, judgment, heaven, and hell. These are the final realities each soul must face, and they’ve been a traditional focus for Christian meditation for centuries. Saints like St. Francis de Sales recommended regularly meditating on these truths—not to frighten us, but to help us live with deeper purpose and love.

    Q: Why did St. Francis de Sales encourage meditation on death?

    A:
    Because death is inevitable—but always feels unexpected. St. Francis de Sales believed that reflecting often on the reality of death would help us live better lives: more present, more compassionate, and more forgiving. He wrote that death never seems expected, and that truth has stuck with me.

    Q: How has this meditation changed the way you interact with others?

    A:
    It’s made me realize just how fragile human life really is. I’ve started trying to treat each person as if it could be our last interaction. That doesn’t mean living in fear—it means living with intention.
    I ask myself:

    • Would I want this to be the last thing I ever said to this person?
    • If they—or I—weren’t here tomorrow, would I regret anything left unsaid, or the way I treated them

    That perspective makes it much harder to hold grudges or speak harshly. It doesn’t mean I don’t get frustrated—but it helps me pause, breathe, and remember what actually matters.

    Q: Isn’t that kind of reflection morbid or depressing?

    A:
     Not at all. In the Catholic tradition, memento mori (“remember you will die”) isn’t meant to drag us into fear—it’s meant to wake us up. It reminds us that life is short, people are precious, and love is urgent.
    It’s not about obsessing over death—it’s about choosing compassion today because tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.

    Q: How can other men benefit from this practice?

    A:
     For men especially, it’s easy to get caught up in productivity, control, or pride. But meditating on the Four Last Things cuts through all of that. It brings you face to face with your own limits—and from there, you can start building a life based on what actually endures: love, forgiveness, virtue, and eternal hope.

    In my men’s group, these meditations have sparked real conversations—not just about theology, but about how we’re living and who we’re becoming.

    Q: What are some simple ways to put this into practice?

    A:
     Here are a few:

    • Start your day with a 2-minute reflection on the Four Last Things.
    • Bless people silently, especially those who frustrate you.
    • Ask forgiveness quickly—don’t assume there will be another chance.
    • Thank people more often—you might not get to tomorrow.
    • Treat interruptions as opportunities to love more deeply.

    Final Thought:

    Life is fragile. People are fragile. And that is exactly why we must love boldly and forgive freely. The Four Last Things are not a threat—they are a call to holiness. A call to live every day as if it really matters—because it does.

    Developed with assistance from ChatGPT

  • Valley of the Shadow of Life

     

    Those are the people who say to God: “Thy will be done.” No soul that seriously and constantly desires Joy will ever miss it. To those who seek, it is found. To those who knock, it is opened.

    Ah, the saved . . . what happens to them is best described as the opposite of a mirage. 

    What seemed, when they entered it, to be the vale of misery, turns out, when they look back, to have been a well. And where present experience saw only salt deserts, memory truthfully records that the pools were full of water.

    The good man’s past begins to change so that his forgiven sins and remembered sorrows take on the quality of Heaven

    And that is why the Blessed will say, “We have never lived anywhere except in Heaven”

    And perhaps ye had better not call this country Heaven. Not deep Heaven, ye understand. “Ye can call it the Valley of the Shadow of Life

    C.S.Lewis – The Great Divorce

  • Spe Salvi 47

    Section 47 is my favorite in the Encyclical Spe Salvi by Pope Benedict XVI. I never tire of reading and meditating on it. It is available in several locations including Vatican.va I have added sentence numbers, because the individual sentences are priceless. I refer to it a lot to describe the conversion process.

     

    47.1 Some recent theologians are of the opinion that the fire which both burns and saves is Christ himself, the Judge and Savior.

    47.2 The encounter with Him is the decisive act of judgment.

    47.3 Before His Gaze all falsehood melts away.

    47.4 This encounter with Him, as it burns us, transforms and frees us, allowing us to become truly ourselves.

    47.5 All that we build during our lives can prove to be mere straw, pure bluster, and it collapses.

    47.6 Yet in the pain of this encounter, when the impurity and sickness of our lives become evident to us, there lies salvation.

    47.7 His Gaze, the touch of his heart heals us through an undeniably painful transformation “as though fire”.

    47.8 But it is a blessed pain, in which the holy power of His Love sears through us like aflame, enabling us to become totally ourselves and thus totally of God.

    47.9 In this way the inter-relation between justice and grace also becomes clear: the way we live our lives is not immaterial, but our defilement does not strain us forever if we have at least continued to reach out towards Christ, toward truth and towards love.

    47.10 Indeed, it has already been burned away through Christ’s Passion.

    47.11 At the moment of judgment we experience and we absorb the overwhelming power of His Love over all the evil in the world and in ourselves.

    47.12 The pain of love becomes our salvation and our joy.

    47.13 It is clear that we cannot calculate the “duration” of this transforming burning in terms of the chronological measurements of this world.

    47.14 The transforming “moment” of this encounter eludes earthly time–reckoning–it is the heart’s time, it is the time of “passage” to communion with God in the Body of Christ (39).

    47.15 The judgment of God is hope, both because it is justice and because it is grace.

    47.16 If it were merely grace, making all earthly things cease to matter, God would still owe us an answer to the question about justice–the crucial question that we ask of history and of God.

    47.17 If it were merely justice, in the end, it could bring only fear to us all.

    47.18 The incarnation of God in Christ has so closely linked the two together–judgment and grace– that justice is firmly established: we all work out our salvation “with fear and trembling” (Phil 2:12)

    47.19 Nevertheless grace allows us all to hope, and to go trustfully to meet the Judge whom we know as our “advocate”, or parakletos (cf. 1 Jn 2:1)

    POPE BENEDICT; SPE SALVI; NOVEMBER 30 2007

    Plus, I would like to encourage comments on the content

     

    Regards

    Tom Neugebauer

    Seized by Christ